Around the break room tales circulated, scuttlebutt about a guy we'll call J.W. The tale was told to me one fine day when out of nowhere someone was heard to say that J.W. claimed he could light up the interior of any big building, like the one they were sitting in, for free.
Of course, everyone that heard him laughed and said, NO WAY! But, old J.W. replied with a smile, "wanna bet?"
A resounding "sure I do!" rang out and Morgle Keepthedough was appointed to set the odds and hold the money. Morgie decided that fair odds are 50 to 1 because it would be easier to pick ticks off a buckin' bronco's butt than for J.W.to light up the interior of a building without buying any energy to get the job done. Just like most people who think they have insider information, they all placed a bet of serious proportions because they didn't belive he could possibly pull it off and this was the only way they had ever heard of to win 50 times the money they bet.
J.W. smiled a smile that said I know something you don't know, do da, do da, and then he said "I like the odds so much that here is my $100, bet it all on me."
The whole company was laughing their heads off and betting the ranch while J.W. just licked his chops and starting saying what he was going to spend his winnings on. Yup, old J.W. had a ton of confidence in himself and his ideas.
Every day J.W. showed up at work whistling and smiling a lot, which made all of his co-workers crazy. It seemed to J.W.ster like the whole company was coming to his cubby hole every ten minutes and asking him " How's it coming?" because they all wished he'd throw in the towel and tell Morgie to pay the winners.
Like ex-wives at an alimony hearing, everyone acted like they knew he would fail and they would get the money. Like vultures they kept circling him to be there when he quit and it would be time for the person or persons with the right date in the office pool to win the bet.
Well, acting like a man with a secret formula to make Viagra from aspirin and orange juice, J.W. locked himself in his garage and put his system down on paper. Then he protected it by filing the forms to assure his ownership of the system.
Son of a gun if he hadn't come up with a state of the art system to light up the place and secretly he bought an abandoned office building to demonstrate his invention.
When Morgle heard that J.W. was building his invention he started to look like a man approaching a ravine. He realized that he could never stop this guy because he was too confident and KeepTheDough was sure that J.W. was going to take home the prize.
He kept asking J.W. how his system worked and all JW would say was that it was all mirrors and no smoke. Morgle's face turned plaid every time J.W. said that to him and eventually he just stopped asking.
Somehow the walk upstairs to his office was an extra special one on this red letter day. It was obvious to everyone in the break room that the smile on J.W.'s face said he had won. No one new how, but they were just sure that the big day had come and J.W. had won the bet.
That is the exact time J.W. picked to walk into the office looking like he just cornered the market on genius and handed an invitation to everyone in the betting pool to come to his new office building next Saturday to see it work.
Everyone cringed as if they had just eaten some terribly bad food while they read their invitation. Clearly printed on the bottom was a reminder to make sure KeepTheDough had their money.
Saturday finally arrived and when everyone was present, J.W. unlocked the door and stepped into the inky blackness of the building. Immediately a roar, like a ton of people who've suddenly discovered how to make gold out of darkness, echoed in the halls. There was no light anywhere! The look of defeat on J.W.s face was painful and pitiful which everyone took as proof that he had failed.
Gleefully KeepTheDough started handing out each persons winnings while they all teased J.W. As soon as J.W. noticed the look of victory on everyones face and as he watched them dance around waving their winnings J.W. quietly turned on the lights.
The look on their faces caused ole J.W. to laugh to himself so hard that he could barely breathe. When his spasms finally subsided, J.W. held out his hand palm up and rubbed two fingers on his other hand together which clearly said, hand over the money.
The sound of a crowd of depressed people deflated and sighing, suddenly filled the room as they threw up their hands and gave their winnings to J.W.. Old KeepTheDough sheepishly hung his head and asked J.W. if he would show him how it was done.
Being a good winner, J.W.forced himself to stop counting the money and he said to Morgie "bring everyone and follow me." Up the stairs they went.
At the top of the stairs J.W. opened the hatchway and let Morgie and the whole crowd walk out onto the roof. As they stood there looking like someone had stolen their breakfast. Morgie spoke up and asked, "what am I supposed to be looking at? All I see here is a big mirror on a tricky looking frame."
This started J.W. laughing again, and he just had to sit down and catch his breath. Since everyone was so depressed about losing that they didn't really care how the darn thing worked so as soon as he could manage it, he took everyone back down stairs.
J.W. actually tried not to gloat as he walked KeepTheDough home by picturing them all with a plate of crow feathers, no salt.
At his doorstep Morgie stood frozen for a minute before he looked at J.W. and said, "I am still not sure how you did it but this is the most high tech, modern day miracle of invention I have ever seen." Can I buy one for my house, he asked?
J,W, just looked down sadly and admitted that it was not for sale.
Free interior lighting throughout a building? This must be the invention of a modern day genius you say.
Surprise! Mr.John W. Davis was awarded his patent for cooling buildings on November 7th,1893.
